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Often times when we are intimately in love, we tend to forget who we really are. Sometimes others get to loose their self because of giving everything they have for their partner. But that shouldn’t be the case. Being in love is sweet and refreshing. But if you feel like it is toxic and is already stressful, even if you have loved that person for quite a long time, you still need to make a firm decision if you really want to continue in that relationship. You must choose to be ALIVE outside that hurting life you are having with your partner. If he can’t be totally honest, if he keeps on admiring and longing someone else while he is in your relationship with you, cut it off. Make the decision or you will be sorry.

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Well it’s just that sometimes, you have to convince yourself that you made the right choice and make it appear like it is ok. 

Now, i am living on an edge and kinda wrapped up with the the unknown direction and now i’m kinda lost with myself. 

Good thing is that i have someone who can give me the company. =D

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When we were kids, we are fond of dreaming. Dreams that were sometimes too bold or extravagant. But as we grow older, our dreams change into something that defines who we really. But there are also some of them that doesn’t become ours. But to our environment instead.

Our childhood dreams are unique, and so as our partner’s. For 12 years, i was bombarded to be this someone with flying colors, working in big industries with high paying jobs. Unfortunately, i lived in those dreams. Well to cut the story short, i went into a room of challenge where i need to choose whether my career or my partner.

My contract abroad ended and here i am in my homeland, Philippines. It’s been almost 5 months since i have arrived. And in those 5 mos i was unstable with where to go next.

But at this moment, i made the choice. Well my spirit had chosen already months ago. It’s just that my consciousness  has able to recognize where my spirit leads me. I chose the latter and gave up to be the perfect nurse of all humanity but even if i gave up on something that became my everyday life,there is no trace of any kind of regret. In fact, my dreams became broader and clearer. And now, these are humongous that make me leap everytime i visualize them.

What’s funny is that, my dreams are the missing puzzle of my partner’s bigger dreams. AMAZING!

I realized that, no sacrifice has forsaken. We just have to trust, wait and believe. Amen!

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Abundance Prayer

When I am afraid, I ask myself:
How can i give more to life?
When I am tangled in past regrets or
frightening stories of the future,
I bring myself into the present moment
And know that I am safe.
When i am tempted to complain
I choose praise and gratitude.
i take a deep breath.
I look around and see
How rich I am in the things that count.
I look within and see my unlimited potential
I realize that every moment is filled
with blessings
and every day I am alive
is a gift to be grateful for.
I remember that God is my Source
and abundance is reflected
in the faces of those
I have yet to learn to love.
eternally, this abundance says:
Every family is my family.
Every success is my success.
Every bride is my beauty
and every bridegroom my Beloved.
Every child is my new beginning
and every elder is my life ripe with experience.
Every dawn is my new day.
Every sunset is my world turning.
Every season is good
and offers its bounty to me
Every moment is mine to embrace
for it is the Eternal Now
forever expressing in, through, and for me.
I live in the Forever Here
that is alive in all.
Translucent grace shines in us,
awake and aware of the beauty we are
as we become all we were meant to be.
And so it is.

For it is in the giving we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying to self that we are born to
eternal life.

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi..

I took this part from the book i read, ” The Heart of Abundance”. Such a beautiful book that will make you feel spiritually full while reading every page. 

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Journey together

It’s hard to do things you are not interested in doing. 

No matter how rational or irrational your partner is, there is that one aspect of him/her and yourself that goes together. Find that intersection in your relationship and explore it together. If it will help you grow together then it might be worth spending for. 

Don’t be afraid of trying new and different things. We must not forget that there is a big path ahead of us, and it’s a matter of exploration. And the best navigation is when you are with your partner.

Love each other’s difference. Its make your relationship challenging. =D

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He said,

“10 YEARS? HOW DID YOU DO IT?

For most people it seems to be so unbelievable! A total joke! A myth or a freak of nature.

But friends, believe it or not, we have been together – in a relationship – if there was Facebook 10 years ago.

Now the next big question how did we do it?

The “how” also came about not just after 2 years, nor 5 or 8 years, but also a decade.

Relationships didn’t come with a manual. And the academic me – structured and systematized – was having quite a difficult time understanding everything. What to do, how to do it, why such happens, and why not. Especially with women – understanding them is like being a 3 year old learning quantum physics by himself.

Generally, my main expectation before was simply that everything will go well in 5 years. (I’m sure you already know about the 5 year myth?) Going well meaning, you understand each other, less fights, and everything is just on the roll. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.

There was still a lot of work to do! As in a lot!

Looking at memory lane, I realized this one truth. It’s a loooooooooooooooooong process.

People often tend to look at relationships as sprints. In their very first year they pump out everything they have – which is good – but bad if it dies down after that. Relationships are not like projects, start with objectives then finish in a few months. No, they are long – not sprints but marathons.

Relationships are marathons.

Long endurance marathon.

When I finally accepted this fact, that I will never get the ideal smooth relationship in just 5 years, I became more at ease.

So when we fail or stumble – we stand up – we still have a long way to go.

When things don’t go as we expected or go as we would have wanted – we stand still – we still have a long way to go.

Like marathons, it needs consistency, and of course, it needs to be enjoyed. Enjoyed every step of the way – we still have a long way to go.”

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One night when i asked my partner to write for my blog, i was so thrilled on what would it be about. So, here is it…

What is the very best thing that can ever happen to a relationship?

Live happily ever after?

Tour around the world together?

Have many dozens of kids and make it to Guinness?

Can be, but I’m still not convinced.

I have always been on the quest for getting the best relationship, simply because of the idea that we live only once, and so why not go and aim for it.

But as I take a look into this then will come this chain of thoughts that will lead to topics like compatibility, preferences, personalities, and thousands more. And as it always happen, too much thinking gets people stuck; analysis paralysis.

So what really is the best thing that can ever happen?

The answer dawned to me when she started making this blog. I have been sharing it to people and friends, most especially to teens who happen to be in my community or those in business. Not until one day, I got a text out of nowhere:

“Kuya Hanz, you know I admire the relationship you have. I admire the strength of your relationship.”

And then I remembered even one who said:

“10 years??? How did you do that??? I don’t believe in that anymore! Kuya, teach us!!!”

This praise has been so common to me. Yes, I feel very proud of it, especially when I get to tell them all about our love story, but the truth then came to slowly:

The best thing that can ever happen to a relationship is when your bond can inspire people.

Inspire people in ways that they too would seek to develop their relationship.

It starts a change. It starts people to consider and take a look into relationships not as something cultural or just another stage or trend, but take it as what it really is – the essence of being human – to love.

Our relationship, may not be perfect, we too had lots of ups and downs and yes break ups, but its not those things, but it’s greater in its whole aspect – the total experience. And sharing to the world that experience is such a privilege.

Honestly, When she asked me to write my part. As much as I want to let it all out, I just can’t – its too grand! I literally didn’t know where to start.

Well, I guess it’s best to start by telling everyone how proud I am of what Gail has started. This blog has kept our love even more on fire.

I hope that as this blog kept us on fire, may you catch it and let love spark in your life.

I can’t wait to write more about my part!

As you wish,

Boyfriend

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