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Posts Tagged ‘long term commitment’

One night when i asked my partner to write for my blog, i was so thrilled on what would it be about. So, here is it…

What is the very best thing that can ever happen to a relationship?

Live happily ever after?

Tour around the world together?

Have many dozens of kids and make it to Guinness?

Can be, but I’m still not convinced.

I have always been on the quest for getting the best relationship, simply because of the idea that we live only once, and so why not go and aim for it.

But as I take a look into this then will come this chain of thoughts that will lead to topics like compatibility, preferences, personalities, and thousands more. And as it always happen, too much thinking gets people stuck; analysis paralysis.

So what really is the best thing that can ever happen?

The answer dawned to me when she started making this blog. I have been sharing it to people and friends, most especially to teens who happen to be in my community or those in business. Not until one day, I got a text out of nowhere:

“Kuya Hanz, you know I admire the relationship you have. I admire the strength of your relationship.”

And then I remembered even one who said:

“10 years??? How did you do that??? I don’t believe in that anymore! Kuya, teach us!!!”

This praise has been so common to me. Yes, I feel very proud of it, especially when I get to tell them all about our love story, but the truth then came to slowly:

The best thing that can ever happen to a relationship is when your bond can inspire people.

Inspire people in ways that they too would seek to develop their relationship.

It starts a change. It starts people to consider and take a look into relationships not as something cultural or just another stage or trend, but take it as what it really is – the essence of being human – to love.

Our relationship, may not be perfect, we too had lots of ups and downs and yes break ups, but its not those things, but it’s greater in its whole aspect – the total experience. And sharing to the world that experience is such a privilege.

Honestly, When she asked me to write my part. As much as I want to let it all out, I just can’t – its too grand! I literally didn’t know where to start.

Well, I guess it’s best to start by telling everyone how proud I am of what Gail has started. This blog has kept our love even more on fire.

I hope that as this blog kept us on fire, may you catch it and let love spark in your life.

I can’t wait to write more about my part!

As you wish,

Boyfriend

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Sometimes I overlook the meaning of true love as I did try to seek it by character. But what I have come to realize is, it’s what you can do and what you have done to that person you truly love to make your relationship a truly loving one. Love never fails and it will never fail us. I only have one romantic relationship in my whole life but I fell in love million times and will fall again and again with the same person. I may not have the perfect relationship but God sent me the perfect person who showed me how to love an imperfect me. True love doesn’t go on the good looks and wealth of the person. It is how you feel when you are with him. It is also not all about the emotion, but most importantly how it is shown to you. As what we have known, action speaks louder than voice. When you love, just show it and let him feel. You will also feel it more than you have projected it.

For me, he is the most handsome guy and the most lovable person in my entire existence. Even if he has a lot, I mean tons of shortcomings, I never considered those as reasons to leave him nor cheat him. Even if how mad I am, even if he have crushed my heart so many times, it never crossed my mind to look for another boyfriend. That’s how I truly love him. I am patient with his mistakes though I have thrown nasty words on him but he also didn’t bother to make it a reason to doubt on me.  He is my kinda guy. =D Like any other relationships, we also had few attempts of breaking up, but  we always end up being together. That’s true love,it perseveres unconditionally.

If you want to ask what’s true love for me, well it believes in the word of God on love, be completely honest with each other, understanding the level of commitment truthfully, protecting each other sincerely, have faith and never doubt your hopes and most importantly, trust your relationship.

Certainly true love isn’t easy but,it will always worth all your fight. Once we find that true love, it can never be replaced by anything even the most expensive diamond ring.

 

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Remembering the first few months with him is gratifying. It is still in my nerves all the giggles of our small talks with all the ‘knowing more each other’ stage. Everything was so innocent and new with him around and all our first time’s are just so lovely to feel them again and again. We were so young then that we were only thinking of exchanging sms and talking late in the phone ( like i really mean when the roaster calls).  Our first few days, weeks, months and years made us last this long which i can fairly say strong.. and is getting even stronger and will be getting even better and better. That’s how i believe in us.

Like in any other long distance relationship, i have my struggles. It cannot be denied that sometimes we can think of unacceptable decision like getting even with our partners if they have done wrong that have hurt us. I too sometimes think of that, but i chose not to as it isn’t the true sense of fair play. But what i do instead is that i engage myself in going back our memories, both the happy and the not quiet happy… I can really attest to the fact that the amount of happiness and laughter can certainly kill a deadly wound. A popular thought of counting the happiness than the pain is indeed very effective to smear our clouded thoughts and judgments from being hurt.  Once it is stained with the great memories, certainly you will feel more delighted to be in your relationship if it is worth the stay. Every time i feel down not hearing anything from him, i only think of how we met, the first time we held hands, the first time we prayed, the first time we ate in a fancy restaurant, and so on. The butterflies in my tummy are more reactive as i get myself to visit our past.

They say leave the past behind. But i think, GREAT PAST is not worth the LEAVING.

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I am not any love guru who can define about love. But I can tell what love is for me. It is all about knowing all the flaws but yet still needing to be with him more than any other person. It is giving all the trust and confidence which makes it enough to tell him everything about my self not minding of what he will say particularly all the awfulness and awkwardness of me. It gives me the feeling of comfort and contentment even if it takes a lot of patience. And that’s exactly what i have for the the past 9 years…. and counting =D

We have celebrated 9 valentine’s day together and it always feels like the first time. The giggle is still intense and that heart-throbbing experience everytime I see him. The butterflies are still butterflies in my tummy and now they are like millions of them already that floods my whole body.

Always make your every date extra special than your previous coz it makes your partner feel more excited. Surprise him with your out of ordinary style when you go out. So for this valentine’s day 2012, you may want to give him a new experience from a new environment.

Like for now, we will just be holding our date online with all the difference in time zone. However, I will make it more fun if time permits. Love conquers all, so i will conquer the distance. =D

Happy Lover’s Day!! xoxo

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Intimate relationship isn’t all about romantic dates, romantic talks, romantic gestures or so. It is how you relate and understand the feelings of your partner. Well for me, being passionate in a relationship comes with tight friendship. Or i think i’ll call it PASSIONATE-COMPANIONATE LOVE. ~wink~

One ground for having a long lasting relationship is the foundation of friendship. It is best to be more than just a girlfriend. Aside from the connection that you and your boyfriend has, it is always helpful to have a different connection,which is being BESTFRIENDS. Being his bestfriend means you have the surge of desire what is best for your lover. Be more on emotional support because it will serve as your starting point.

Whenever he has errands to run for the day and you feel like he is panicking or somewhat in rush, don’t add up with his stress. At this time, he needs your care and understanding. Don’t nag as he won’t be able to bring you out for dinner or whatsoever. If he really is serious with you, he will catch up as soon as he can. (that’s what my guy  friend told me, serious boyfriends always have the thought of “catching up with my girlfriend” in the midst of his busy day).  Or perhaps leave him a note to fire up your partner rather than leaving depressing messages on his voicemail. Be like more than a friend to him, sure thing he will appreciate it more and certainly wouldn’t ask for more. When you think that he needs time for himself without you being around, give him the time. Understand that they also have needs that we can’t provide. Listen to his frustrations and hurtings, but don’t judge. If he is watching his favorite cricket team, shout with him. For as long as you are aware of what he is up to and that it won’t bring harm nor destruction to your relationship then be with him as a friend.

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When i say ‘i love you’ to someone, i mean it. It’s my simplest way of saying, ” you mean so much to me and i want you in my life permanently”. I tell that to my family,friends and relatives,to my dogs, or to anything that give value to me. It’s just that ‘love’ comes in different forms. So when i say “i love you” to my family, the implication is different when i say “i love you” to my man. Proud to say, at my early age of 24,i am in a 9yr commitment already. (yeah yeah yeah, i was 15 yrs old then.hahahaha) KUDOS TO ME AND MY BOYFRIEND!! WOW,right? But though,it isn’t that easy to nurture a relationship specially when there is a sense of ‘against the odds’ notion. What’s even more amazing is that, this is our first time. He is my first boyfriend (but i do have crushes before then) and i am his. We get to learn everything together along our relationship. And every experience is so perfect. Like any other relationship, ours is not perfect either. We have tons of ups and downs but what makes me even proud of is we helped each other to bring out the best in our relationship. When the other one is falling and loosing grip, the other one will toss the strongest rope to catch the falling one

I really believe that our path is not parallel, it really crosses a gazillion times. Why? see you in my next post. =p

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