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Posts Tagged ‘partner’

One night when i asked my partner to write for my blog, i was so thrilled on what would it be about. So, here is it…

What is the very best thing that can ever happen to a relationship?

Live happily ever after?

Tour around the world together?

Have many dozens of kids and make it to Guinness?

Can be, but I’m still not convinced.

I have always been on the quest for getting the best relationship, simply because of the idea that we live only once, and so why not go and aim for it.

But as I take a look into this then will come this chain of thoughts that will lead to topics like compatibility, preferences, personalities, and thousands more. And as it always happen, too much thinking gets people stuck; analysis paralysis.

So what really is the best thing that can ever happen?

The answer dawned to me when she started making this blog. I have been sharing it to people and friends, most especially to teens who happen to be in my community or those in business. Not until one day, I got a text out of nowhere:

“Kuya Hanz, you know I admire the relationship you have. I admire the strength of your relationship.”

And then I remembered even one who said:

“10 years??? How did you do that??? I don’t believe in that anymore! Kuya, teach us!!!”

This praise has been so common to me. Yes, I feel very proud of it, especially when I get to tell them all about our love story, but the truth then came to slowly:

The best thing that can ever happen to a relationship is when your bond can inspire people.

Inspire people in ways that they too would seek to develop their relationship.

It starts a change. It starts people to consider and take a look into relationships not as something cultural or just another stage or trend, but take it as what it really is – the essence of being human – to love.

Our relationship, may not be perfect, we too had lots of ups and downs and yes break ups, but its not those things, but it’s greater in its whole aspect – the total experience. And sharing to the world that experience is such a privilege.

Honestly, When she asked me to write my part. As much as I want to let it all out, I just can’t – its too grand! I literally didn’t know where to start.

Well, I guess it’s best to start by telling everyone how proud I am of what Gail has started. This blog has kept our love even more on fire.

I hope that as this blog kept us on fire, may you catch it and let love spark in your life.

I can’t wait to write more about my part!

As you wish,

Boyfriend

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Remembering the first few months with him is gratifying. It is still in my nerves all the giggles of our small talks with all the ‘knowing more each other’ stage. Everything was so innocent and new with him around and all our first time’s are just so lovely to feel them again and again. We were so young then that we were only thinking of exchanging sms and talking late in the phone ( like i really mean when the roaster calls).  Our first few days, weeks, months and years made us last this long which i can fairly say strong.. and is getting even stronger and will be getting even better and better. That’s how i believe in us.

Like in any other long distance relationship, i have my struggles. It cannot be denied that sometimes we can think of unacceptable decision like getting even with our partners if they have done wrong that have hurt us. I too sometimes think of that, but i chose not to as it isn’t the true sense of fair play. But what i do instead is that i engage myself in going back our memories, both the happy and the not quiet happy… I can really attest to the fact that the amount of happiness and laughter can certainly kill a deadly wound. A popular thought of counting the happiness than the pain is indeed very effective to smear our clouded thoughts and judgments from being hurt.  Once it is stained with the great memories, certainly you will feel more delighted to be in your relationship if it is worth the stay. Every time i feel down not hearing anything from him, i only think of how we met, the first time we held hands, the first time we prayed, the first time we ate in a fancy restaurant, and so on. The butterflies in my tummy are more reactive as i get myself to visit our past.

They say leave the past behind. But i think, GREAT PAST is not worth the LEAVING.

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I am not any love guru who can define about love. But I can tell what love is for me. It is all about knowing all the flaws but yet still needing to be with him more than any other person. It is giving all the trust and confidence which makes it enough to tell him everything about my self not minding of what he will say particularly all the awfulness and awkwardness of me. It gives me the feeling of comfort and contentment even if it takes a lot of patience. And that’s exactly what i have for the the past 9 years…. and counting =D

We have celebrated 9 valentine’s day together and it always feels like the first time. The giggle is still intense and that heart-throbbing experience everytime I see him. The butterflies are still butterflies in my tummy and now they are like millions of them already that floods my whole body.

Always make your every date extra special than your previous coz it makes your partner feel more excited. Surprise him with your out of ordinary style when you go out. So for this valentine’s day 2012, you may want to give him a new experience from a new environment.

Like for now, we will just be holding our date online with all the difference in time zone. However, I will make it more fun if time permits. Love conquers all, so i will conquer the distance. =D

Happy Lover’s Day!! xoxo

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The toughest challenge in my relationship today is communication. I don’t share the same time zone with him and it’s like one hell of a crap! But no matter how hard to make the adjustment and accept the fact that we don’t share the same free time, we still managed to communicate offline. ~wink

Learning all the means to communicate is vital to express our needs, feelings and desires brightly. It may not have all the emotion you wanted to express but it still pays the effort. You can just simply add some smileys and all. Like this one =D

What we really want in every conversation is the quality of it. To stay longer in a relationship, we must know how to give support, praises and continuous encouragement to our partner and vice versa. Me and my partner also make it a daily habit of saying “I love you” in so many means. You should never hesitate to show and express your love coz the more you tell it to the world, the more it will come back to you. Even if how simple your ways are, it would surely make a big difference in your relationship. I have my simple ways in showing how I love him like giving him a touch of massage, a rub on his back-which he really loves, trimming his nails, cleaning his ears etc. And in return, he loves holding my hand. I can attest to that, really. Even if it is hard for us to hold hands, he doesn’t care. As long as he can grab mine by all means. I think that’s part of his reflex already, the moment he sees me he will automatically grab my hand. hahaha

No matter what you and your partner do, as long you two tell how much you care for each other then that’s the only thing matters.

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I can say that my relationship has so much success. Me and my partner have very different roles but we see ourselves as often equal. We always take each view’s highly valuable or won’t compete with our interest as more important than the other. Also, we always make it definite that we are making fundamental contribution to our relationship and must know where we stand. That’s how we deal with the dominance thingy.

It is flattering everytime my partner asks for my opinion(oh he really does..like frequently). I feel more valued more than anything else and it shows that he really believes and trusts my views. Well likewise, I do believe in him as well especially in rationalizing my impeccable judgments sometimes. He is my second best counselor next to my family.  That’s one of his roles, the counselor. And one of mine is his psychologist. Once he said that i am the pscyhologist of a psychologist-he is a psych grad so that’s why.

Making a joint decision on big issues will bring out all the creative solutions and you will learn how to compromise. Like for me, When we love to go somewhere, I always do the planning and he will intervene. Though sometimes he takes my role and I take his. I must admit that he is more creative than I am..~ sigh! So i make it to the point that i will just do the planning. hehe It’s like I am the compass and he is the captain. So basically, we are better together than being apart.

It feels so good when you know your role. You get to develop your strength that might be the weakness of your partner and vice versa. Just imagine how you both put back the missing puzzle in your lives and that being together completes the perfect picture. And that’s what we have right now. A complete movie picture!

 

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It is inevitable that somewhere at anytime in a relationship, we give less attention to it after having the strong commitment. We even tend to neglect each other while focusing on our personal duty or on our individual activities. But even if we have outside interests from our partners, a strong relationship will keep the both parties make their own commitment making each other on top priority list.

Honoring commitment starts with the acceptance of having a good relationship which takes a lot of work and effort. Expect to have bad situations along the road, it is so typical. As long as you are open for compromise and adjustment, it won’t ever make you vulnerable. The catch of every tough times is to accept the rough patches. Forget the thought of pretending it didn’t happen and it didn’t make any difference coz one day it will. Better yet give all what the two of you got to solve each problem together before the sun sets and tell him you love him regardless of all the annoyance.

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Don’t get addictive to your partner. I have known a lot of relationships ended because they thought they have more pain and despair rather than love. Many have asked me how I survived for many years without doubting any uncertainties that arise in my relationship. Oh well, basically it depends on how you see the connection between you and the relationship per say.

When you love, it should be aiding and not killing you. It should not be painful to the point that you feel like it is crushing more your excruciating heart and slaughtering  your sanity coz if that’s so, then there must be something wrong. =(

It’s totally normal to want a relationship to last, but to assume isn’t fair. Because the more you expect, the more it will get noxious. And, there would be a probability that you will forget your own goals  ‘coz you will keep on whining about your frustrations.

I always take myself as my priority coz everything I do is a reflection of what I will have. And, I never considered being obsessed with my relationship.  I don’t wanna be infatuated for the reason that I don’t want to merely depend on my partner. But it doesn’t mean I don’t talk to him about stuffs like what should he do, but it’s more on I will do my thing and it’s up to you to do yours. But If there’s anything that upsets me which needs to be talked about, I tell him. Here’s what I believe to be helpful . (spare me if you don’t agree.~wink)

Sometimes being alone is fun rather than clinging with each other 24/7. It will give you time to grow as a being and not just a lover. Sooner you will learn that your morale doesn’t depend to your partner. Never ever expect for your partner to fix your mood if you don’t want to get hurt more.

Respect each other’s interests. It’s okay to be get involved with his stuffs sometimes but if it isn’t gives you comfort, then recognize them. Don’t restrict him with his social life or interests. I for all time support him with what he does. I always tell him to reconnect with his old friends and have fun always.  My job here is just to remind him that, “hey, I think you need a break”. He is a one hell workaholic type of person. And it’s a bit annoying sometimes. =)

We often tease each other’s physical imperfections but with no offense. Though he is a bit big,like literally big, I embrace his individuality. It is always up to him or it is always up to our partners if they will change their own image. Don’t be the one to change them according you or own ideal image.

In every disagreement, always talk and compromise. Let the love do the talking and you will surpass any argument. That’s the most powerful weapon in killing fights. Be real and deal all the aspects that you think is a threat to your relationship. Don’t be deluded with the fact that avoiding the unpleasant will make you feel better. It’s a BIG NO NO! It is best to let him know than repressing it. Quarrels get extreme because of unresolved conflicts and issues that have not been dealt with from the past. So better yet resolve it right away.

Always give each other a room to grow. Always desire continuous growth for you and your partner. You will just be surprised that one day, you two are the most amazing couple in the whole universe. =D Encourage each other to for each other’s worth. Don’t fear of change, just see it as an opportunity for the better.

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